Name: CLINT “DEUCES” DEMPSEY
Birthplace: Nacogdoches, Texas
Age/Birthday: 31/9 March 1983
Smokeshow Qualification: Killer tattoos, only made better by the muscles underneath. Excellent haircut, which combining with the stubble, increasing his intensity not a little. Arms and abs to die for. Jaw you could cut cheese with. A soft cheese. Brie. Also, I’m one of those people who thinks this is badass (tw: blood).
Why We Love Him: If Jozy is my American boyfriend and Mix is my Norwegian-American frat bro/son, Clint is my watch-him-drive-past-school-on-his-motorcycle-and-wish-I-was-that-cool crush. He’s your first beer at a high school party. He’s the leather jacket you stole from your bad news boyfriend. He’s the mixtape of music you thought you were the first one to ever listen to. Goes from proud dad to badass motherfucker in about two seconds. You can tell he’s a dad because he screenshots his Insta to his Twitter. Also hilarious. Klinsmann made him captain to get him to be more of a team player and Dempsey has done that and then some, taking the leader position and running with it.
What Fictional Character I Think He Looks Like: Dallas Winston.
What Car Would He Be: Cherry red ‘72 Mustang.
Anything Else: So that “Deuces” nickname? Yeah, that comes from Clint’s RAP CAREER. Don’t Tread was back in 2006, but he’s scheduled to drop a full album with friend XO. He also scored the fifth fastest goal in World Cup history, in case you forgot, and was the only American player to score in the 2006 World Cup. Highest paid player in the MLS.**
*You don’t actually have to send us.
**Please come back to Tottenham.